The Headmaster Ritual (single)

Cover art (UK CD)

Dutch cover art

THE SMITHS Single
Name	The Headmaster Ritual
Release	February 1985 (Album version) Summer 1985 (Holland - exact date unknown) December 1988 (UK CD) 2009 (Reissue)
Total Length	4:52
Recorded	October 1984
Writer/composer	Morrissey/Marr
Producer	The Smiths Stephen Street (Recording Engineer)
Art work	Cover star: Viv Nicholson (UK CD) Dutch cover: Robert Duncan from The Uncle (1965) designed by Morrissey
Vinyl Etching	No matrix message
Publisher	Megadisc (Netherlands) Rough Trade Records (UK) Sire Records (US)
Format(s)	7" Vinyl, 12" Vinyl, CD
Chart position	Not applicable (UK release 1988)
Single chronology
Barbarism Begins At Home ← The Headmaster Ritual → That Joke Isn't Funny Anymore

Track list

7" Vinyl

Netherlands - [Megadisc – MD 5290]

1. The Headmaster Ritual – 4:52 (Morrissey/Marr)
2. Oscillate Wildly – 2:32 (Morrissey/Marr)

12" Vinyl

Netherlands - [Megadisc – MD 125295]

1. The Headmaster Ritual – 4:52 (Morrissey/Marr)
2. Nowhere Fast (live in Oxford) – 2:31 (Morrissey/Marr)
3. Stretch Out And Wait (live in Oxford) – 2:49 (Morrissey/Marr)
4. Shakespeare's Sister (live in Oxford) – 2:12 (Morrissey/Marr)
5. Meat Is Murder (live in Oxford) – 5:34 (Morrissey/Marr)

CD

UK - [Rough Trade – RTT 215CD]

1. The Headmaster Ritual – 4:52 (Morrissey/Marr)
2. Nowhere Fast (live in Oxford) – 2:31 (Morrissey/Marr)
3. Stretch Out And Wait (live in Oxford) – 2:49 (Morrissey/Marr)
4. Meat Is Murder (live in Oxford) – 5:34 (Morrissey/Marr)

Lyrics

Belligerent ghouls
run Manchester schools
spineless swines
cemented minds
Sir leads the troops
jealous of youth
same old suit since 1962
he does the military two-step
down the nape of my neck
I wanna go home
I don't want to stay
give up education
as a bad mistake
mid-week on the playing fields
Sir thwacks you on the knees
knees you in the groin
elbow in the face
bruises bigger than dinner plates
I wanna go home
I don't wanna stay

Belligerent ghouls
run Manchester schools
spineless bastards all
Sir leads the troops
jealous of youth
same old jokes since 1902
he does the military two-step
down the nape of my neck
I wanna go home
I don't want to stay
give up life
as a bad mistake
please excuse me from gym
I've got this terrible cold coming on
he grabs and devours
he kicks me in the showers
kicks me in the showers
and he grabs and devours
I want to go home
I don't want to stay

Live History

Play count (The Smiths concert): 40

The Smiths live history:

• Chippenham, England 1985-02-27 (The Smiths concert)
• Guildford, England 1985-02-28 (The Smiths concert)
• London, England 1985-03-01 (The Smiths concert)
• Portsmouth, England 1985-03-03 (The Smiths concert)
• Reading, England 1985-03-04 (The Smiths concert)
• Poole, England 1985-03-06 (The Smiths concert)
• Brighton, England 1985-03-07 (The Smiths concert)
• Margate, England 1985-03-08 (The Smiths concert)
• Ipswich, England 1985-03-11 (The Smiths concert)
• Nottingham, England 1985-03-12 (The Smiths concert)

... further results

Play count (Morrissey concert): 20

Morrissey live history:

• Las Vegas, Nevada 2004-04-17 (Morrissey concert)
• Anaheim, California 2004-04-18 (Morrissey concert)
• Los Angeles, California 2004-04-22 (Morrissey concert)
• Los Angeles, California 2004-04-24 (Morrissey concert)
• Los Angeles, California 2004-04-26 (Morrissey concert)
• Los Angeles, California 2004-04-27 (Morrissey concert)
• New York, New York 2004-05-03 (Morrissey concert)
• New York, New York 2004-05-08 (Morrissey concert)
• Manchester, England 2004-05-22 (Morrissey concert)
• London, England 2004-06-11 (Morrissey concert)

... further results

Appears On

• Meat Is Murder
• The Headmaster Ritual (single)
• ...Best II
• Who Put The 'M' In Manchester?
• The Sound Of The Smiths
• The Smiths Singles Box
• Complete

Cover Versions

• Radiohead

Mentioned In

• LYRIC PRIDE - Morrissey Central (July 10, 2024)

Discogs Information

Credits

• Bass Guitar [The Bass Guitar] - Andy Rourke
• Drums [The Drums] - Mike Joyce
• Engineer [Engineered By] - Stephen Street
• Guitar [Guitars] - Johnny Marr
• Layout - Caryn Gough
• Producer [Produced By] - The Smiths
• Sleeve - Morrissey
• Voice - Morrissey
• Written-By - Johnny Marr
• Written-By - Morrissey

Notes

This is the version without any misspelling or typos. See The Headmaster Ritual Master Release page for more detailed descriptions of all misprint submissions.

Side A from the LP "Meat Is Murder”. Side B recorded live in Oxford.

Distributed in the Benelux by CBS, Heemstede.

Made in Holland ℗ 1985 ROUGH TRADE/MEGADISC RECORDS & TAPES B.V.

Tracks listed sequentially on the labels (as A1, B2, B3, B4, B5).

Images

• The Headmaster Ritual - Discogs master release: https://www.discogs.com/master/21160
• The Headmaster Ritual (12" 45 RPM Single Stereo) - Discogs release: https://www.discogs.com/release/546534-The-Smiths-The-Headmaster-Ritual

Discogs information (additional release)

Notes

Tracks 2 to 4 recorded live in Oxford, 1985.

Cover star: Viv Nicholson

Images

• The Headmaster Ritual (Single) - Discogs release: https://www.discogs.com/release/1566244-The-Smiths-The-Headmaster-Ritual

Discogs information (additional release)

Notes

℗ 1985

Images

• The Headmaster Ritual / Oscillate Wildly (7" 45 RPM Single Stereo) - Discogs release: https://www.discogs.com/release/482458-The-Smiths-The-Headmaster-Ritual-Oscillate-Wildly