Tulsa

Where to begin? Hmmmnn... well, after complaining about Moz not coming to Texas I decided to make the trip up to Tulsa. A friend of mine who has seen Morrissey four times (including 86-TQID tour!) and I jumped into his truck Monday afternoon around one. It took us three hours to get to Dallas and about an hour to get to the OK state border. It was then that things began to go wrong. I know you guys want to hear about the concert so I won’t go into the fact that we got a total of three tickets on the way to the show. Anyway, we arrived in Tulsa (which is bigger than I thought it would be but still leaves me wondering why Moz picked it) twelve minutes after nine so we missed our chance to buy tickets that night. Since it was gen adm we didn’t think much about it and plus this was Tulsa... no way in hell would the show sell out.

We spent many hours looking for a place to eat and sleep because the entire city shuts down at nine pm. Even Taco Bell and McDonald’s closes at nine there. We drove around the Brady Theatre, where Moz was to perform the next night and I wish you guys could have seen this place. It was located in the ghetto of Tulsa, near all the factories and shit. The building was brick and the place looked incredibly tiny. The sign in front simply read "Morrissey Nov 4" in black letters surrounded by rust. It was a freaky place to hold a concert. Anyway, no one was waiting outside yet so we went and slept until 4:30 am. We again had to drive all over town in order to purchase some flowers for dear ol Moz. We arrived at the Brady at six am and there were three people ahead of us. It was freezing outside and they were bundled up in sleeping bags. Two of them had gotten there at 2 am and the other at 3. They were all from Tulsa and the whole time they kept wondering aloud why Moz had come to their city. We got our place in line (4th and 5th) and waited and waited and waited. Around noon people began coming but it wasn't until around three pm that it started getting crowded on the sidewalk. After driving 450 miles, spending loads of money, and waiting in the freezing cold since six, I was not about to let anyone cut in front of me. There was no kind of organization whatsoever as far as the line was concerned. People just bunched up in little groups around us, the original five. I began to get pissed. Most of them were little high school girls who were skipping school. I found the crowd to be amazing since most of them were no older than twenty, most of them could care less about the Smiths, and nearly all of them were seeing him for the first time. We managed to get some sidewalk chalk later in the day and a bunch of us wrote all over the bricks and doors of the theatre where we thought Moz would enter. I put a bunch of quotes and few old etchings up and people were asking me where I was getting them from. They have obviously never read anything besides Morrissey’s lyrics. They even asked me what an etching was! Hmmnn....oh yah, the most disturbing thing was when I wrote Mozzer on the sidewalk and a bunch of girls came up to me and said "What’s that?!" and they had been waiting for hours in line with us! It was strange.

Moving on... like I mentioned earlier, there was no line organization. When a bunch of people began to show up I got fed up and stood up. I tried to form a line. I managed to get one started but it failed to survive. Morrissey was staying at the Adam’s Mark which was only about seven minutes away. He was supposed to show up around six according to the staff. We saw two buses pull up, a maroon one and a purple one. For all of you who plan on meeting the boys remember - they are not on either one of these buses! The purple bus is the crew and the maroon is the Smoking Popes. At 5:30 a lady came out and bitched at us about not being in single file lines so while we were trying to make two lines a white limo pulled up right behind us. It went very slow and I thought people would run up behind it but no one moved. Everyone just kind of oohed and aaahed but just stood there. Morrissey was not in there of course. He had come around the other end of the building. A guy who managed to have Boz sign his Wide to Receive shirt saw Moz jump out in a black coat straight into the back of the theatre.

Anyway, people were shoving and squeezing and doing their best to maintain their place in line. I swear it was so frustrating and disorganized. Then the same lady who had come out earlier told us that she would be opening the doors on the other side as well. WHAT THE FUCK?! is exactly what I yelled at her. How could she let people who had just showed up into the theatre at the same time that people who had been waiting twelve hours get in?! How?! OOh... I was vicious by now. I told anyone behind me to just step off and don’t you dare try to pull a fast one when the doors opened. It was horrible. The whole wait outside sucked. Around seven they opened the doors and it was a mad rush to the front of the barricade. I made it into the theatre fourth and I got front row middle!!!! The stage was about waist high and maybe three feet away from the barricade. I was so close to the stage my gladiolas touched it with no problem. The barricade was about chest high and made out of iron or something. Right before Smoking Popes came on I glanced behind me and the theatre, which only holds 2500, was near empty. It was kind of sad. I saw about ten bunches of flowers and a healthy amount of quiffs, though, and that made me feel a little better, at least for Morrissey. All of us in front knew each other from the wait in line,so we all locked arms so that no one could try to squeeze in between us. There was a couple from Maine in front who were at the Boston and Providence shows, too. They had gotten to hang out with the boys in Boston for a day. She had pictures (which she gave to the guys later) to prove it! A boy from Canada was up in front as well as a few from College Station, TX (including me). We did the Morrissey chant and all that until the Smoking Popes came on. It wasn’t hot at all in the pit and no one was pushing. I was thinking that all the horror and pain that everyone had been discussing lately was not going to take place here, in Tulsa. Boy was I wrong.

The Smoking Popes came on around 8. They were pretty good. The crowd was very polite to them. There was no booing or "Bring out Morrissey damnit!" or anything like that. I threw a flower at the lead singer and he tried to catch it. A few other people threw some, too. The Smoking Popes were all wearing the same shirt, just different colors. It was kind of tacky, but oh well. They played for 45 minutes. Like I said, no one was pushing or anything until 9:15. There was some smoke and stuff and then the band came out at once. I swear, the breath was knocked out of me instantly. People tried to get in between us in front and it got brutal. I kicked some girl on my right and elbowed another. I didn’t give a fuck. My bones were grating against the barricade the whole time. Everyone started screaming when Moz snarled "TULSA!!!!" and the lights came on, it was outrageous.

Let’s see... he was wearing a light pink button up dress shirt with grey slacks. The slacks were sort of hugging him and they had white stripes on them. He was wearing plain black shoes. For anyone who has doubts - he looked fabulous! The Operation intro ended and they launched into "Boy Racer". Everyone sang along and I think Moz was impressed by our efforts. The theatre was so small and so empty that anything anyone said could be heard. I heard people shouting "Come to Texas!" and things like that. Well, after "Boy Racer" he said "Thank you. We’re the local band from Tulsa" and then they went into "Do Your Best and Don’t Worry". These songs sound so great live! After this song I believe he then said "It’s nice of you to pretend... that you know... the words to these songs... um... yes..." and then it was "Why Don’t You Find..." It was during this song that I believe he began to prowl the stage. He went to one side and then the other but not to the center. I was screaming for him to come to the center and during the middle of the song he came! He crouched down in front of me, and this girl and I grabbed his hand. I felt his ring. He grinned when he saw our expressions. It was great. We threw our flowers at him randomly and he seemed to enjoy them. He even picked them up after songs and laid them to the side. Oh, I forgot to mention his moves! For "Boy Racer" he swung his hips so much it was unbelievable. He moved so much I thought I was seeing Morrissey at a Smiths concert. He moves sooo well.

Well, after "Why..." he played "Ambitious Outsiders". I was surprised at how well this sounded. It was not one of my favorites on Mal but now it is. Towards the end, where there’s that part with just the music going, Moz rolled the microphone over his abdomen from right to left, back and forth with one hand, while the other hand made this "Come closer" motion. He rocked back and forth like this until the end of the song. He smiled a lot.

I think the next song was "Alma Matters" but before that he said something that puzzled me... he said "I lied to you. We’re really the local band from GALVESTON". All of us Texas people were like "What the?!" We were already wondering why he didn’t come to TX and for him to say this made us even more perplexed. "Alma Matters" sounded good. Something hilarious happened though. Somewhere in the middle of the song, he took some nice, fresh flowers from a guy named Robbie, whom I’d met in line. He took them and first sang into them then he brushed them over his face and then over his chest. Rob almost fainted. Morrissey saw Rob’s reaction and began to laugh. He was singing while he had the flowers and when he began to giggle, he forgot the words!!!

So he left out two whole lines of the song (he kind of hummed them). I saw him put the flowers down with the other things he had been given and he was grinning with embarrassment as he did so. It was so cute.

Before the next song he said "In case you didn’t know, I’m heavily influenced by Glen Campbell!!" and then he went into "Paint A Vulgar Picture". The crowd went crazy. He did the "MTV, MTV, MTV oh kiss their asses" and "please depressing Belgians" and everyone cheered. During one part he propped his leg up against the speaker and that’s when I threw my card at him. It hit him on the side of his bottom for some reason. I think I’m the only one who brought a card. Hey, that increases my chances of him reading it, right? :)

I believe "Hold Onto..." was next. This song sounded excellent. We were all singing really loud. I managed to get a foothold on the barricade on a hinge at the bottom. This allowed me to get my hips at the level of the barricade so I could bend over farther. I bent over so far I almost touched the stage, and that’s when Morrissey saw me trying to reach him and he bent down and I was the only one who could reach him. So I grabbed his hand and held it while we both sang hold onto your friends! I made direct eye contact with him and he is just too beautiful for words. When he walked away the security bastards shoved me back down into the grating bones pit. Everyone around me told me I did a good job and patted me on the back. I felt like I was melting with joy.

He said some thank you’s and then he said "The next song was a big hit in... GREAT BRITAIN!!!" and then he went into "The More You..." It was funny. "The More You..." was awesome. When he sang "I will be in the bar.." he walked over to a stack of speakers and stood leaning against it when he sang "...with my head on the bar" and he laid his head down on top of the speaker! I believe Alain moved a bit during this song. Boz moved some during the show but not a lot.

Oh damn. I just remembered. "Spring-heeled Jim" was played earlier, like the third song or so. Damn, you guys who’ve been to shows know how difficult it is to remember the setlist. I was in such bliss I forgot about that song. Anyway, the next song was "Now My Heart..." and it was then that I realized that the show would be ending soon. There had been a few crowdsurfers but no one had attempted to get on stage. I think Moz was beginning to worry because he started motioning at people to come closer. God, my guts were being squeezed out when he did that. He sang into some more flowers that people in front were holding (why does he do that?) and threw a lot of flowers back into the crowd. He teased us a lot, too. He would reach out for something and then snatch his hand back empty. During one song, he put the microphone over his shoulder, with his back to us, and let it slide down to his bottom. It stayed there for awhile. He stood a lot during the show and just made faces or put his fingers up to his lips (like he always does). Whenever he wiped his sweat, he would start from the top of his head and continue to wipe down his chest to his hips. IT WAS SO SEXY. Morrissey was just dripping with sexiness. If he still had his quiff I think he would be just too much to gaze upon.

At the end of "Now My Heart..." I decided the time had come. With my left foot resting on the hinge of the barricade, I hoisted myself halfway up. This guy from behind me grabbed my hips and helped me sit on top of the barricade. I turned around onto my shins to face the stage and although this is not the ideal position to attempt a jump onto the stage, jump I did. The security was busy getting this crowdsurfer down so when I jumped no one held me back. I got halfway on the stage but the rest of me landed in the area between the stage and the barricade. Morrissey was singing the "So...so..." part at the end of the song on the right side of the stage. He was crouched down and didn’t see me jump. Within seconds, one security guy had my right arm and the other had my left. They tried to drag me to the left, but I fought them. I may be slimmish but I can still put a fight, damnit. So, while they practically pulled my shirt off and bruised me up, I stayed in place and screamed Morrissey over and over. They started to drag me when I saw Morrissey walk over to where we were and extend his right arm to me on the stage floor. Somehow I managed to get my right arm free (I had two 400 lb guys on me) and like magnets, my hand landed right in his. The other security guy had me by my other arm still and it was like a tug of war for a few seconds. Then they realized that Morrissey had me and wasn’t letting go so the security guys boosted me up while Morrissey pulled me. The next thirty seconds were a blur. I saw him before me and embraced him from the front with all the energy I had left. He stepped back a bit from the force but then he put his arm around me while singing. He was sweating so much, the whole side of my face was wet after I’d hugged him. I moved my hands up to the back of his neck and caressed his head while I kissed the area underneath his ear once and then his neck once. No one tried to pry me off of him so I talked into his ear (something lame it was...I think I said "..mine... forever"... real smooth, huh? I get up on stage and say something totally retarded to him). The crowd was yelling and cheering for me and I just kept hugging him until I heard some guy yell "GET OFF OF HIM! GET OFF NOW! DAMNIT, GET OFF!" and I felt someone pulling me by the waist. I grabbed Morrissey’s right hand while that other guy pulled me, and Morrissey bowed down to me while I kissed the top of his hand (just like the girl in the LIDallas vid). When I did that the crowd went nuts and then next thing I knew I was thrown (yes, picked up and thrown) to the side where this guy threw me up against a door. I stared at the door and the guy told me to get out. I opened the door and it was a dark spiral staircase. I staggered up the steps to the top, where it finally hit me what had just happened. I stayed on the top step for awhile crying and laughing and going crazy. I have never felt so good in my life. It was awesome. Oh, I forgot to mention how soft he and his hair is! I can still recall his smell, too. It was like a sweet, citrusy cologne. I've never smelt anything like it except for maybe at B&Body Works. It was yummy. I managed to get back down to the floor but I was mobbed by some people outside in the concession area. They recognized me (I was wearing black slacks, a long sleeved black Moz shirt, and black shoes) and I kept getting hugged and asked questions. Some girl kept saying "I hate you! I hate you!" Most were just trying to get some Moz sweat on them and kept rubbing up against me. It was weird. I came in the show to see the end of "Speedway". The encore was "Shoplifters" for which Moz came out in a dark pink, see-through shirt and dark slacks. Shoplifters was good, but I would’ve preferred "London" or "TQID". It didn’t sound like I thought it would, but I’m not complaining. :)

We left Tulsa around eleven pm and got to Texas at 7:20 Wednesday morning. I have bruises on my ribs, elbows, pelvic area and I am sore all over. My knees are black with bruises and for some reason my teeth on the left side of my mouth hurt so that eating is painful. But, I must say that it was all worth it. Definitely. I never thought I would get a chance to hold Morrissey and kiss him. Well, I guess Moz was right when he said don’t lose faith - because it happened for me Tuesday night! It was my first Morrissey show and maybe my last but certainly not an event I’ll ever forget. I wish the rest of you who are going to see him luck and try your best to get on stage. It is well worth the effort. I will shut up now. Thank you.

Jennifer Parker