Morrissey And I

I'll be honest here. In the beginning, my love and bond for the Smiths and Morrissey was not a magical experience. Their existence became known to me only when I was 17. Some old school friends were heavily into the music, and as a result I was exposed to those tunes and melodies that would later have so much relevance to and influence upon my heart, mind, body and soul. At first, I didn't particularly like the sound, largely due to my captivation within and teenage belonging to bands such as Soundgarden, Faith No More and Pearl Jam. The Smiths were at the time, far too outside and intellectual for my tastes and likings. Although, things were destined to change.

A number of years past and I began to attend university. It was the late nineties, a time of social, economic and political integration and disintegration, depending upon which perspective you take. These days saw the opening and broadening of my stance as an individual. My mind was being expanded by my degree, drugs, relationships and society. I was majoring in sociology which really brought substance to my ways of thinking and behaving. However, as my life progressed, so did my emotions, feelings and moods. Drugs and relationships had placed their toll upon my happiness, in turn molding depression into my personal landscape. I was becoming profoundly sensitive, gentle, delicate and even soft.

I remember the day I found Morrissey. I was at a market in outer Melbourne, strolling through a music stand, having just come down from one of my drug experiences the night before. I was sad, alone and depressed. However, it seems when looking back on this day, something was pre-determined for my future and I. My eyes wandered across the hundreds of CD's, laid flat across the stands. So many covers, faces, pictures and colours. But one, for some incredible reason stood out, glimmered and shined. It was Vauxhall and I. I remember reflecting upon my old friends at school and how they would confess their hearts to me about this fabulous idol and his magnificent mannerisms. All this was true. I bought Vauxhall and I, took it home to my bedroom, where I would listen and study it. We fell in love. Such relevance to my life, such association I gained with every tone, every sound, tune, melody, word and statement. It became my sun to warm the miserable grey skies of winter chilled Melbourne. I look back on this time as perhaps the most special and priceless time of my life.

Jobs have past, Lovers have come and gone, Drugs are no-longer with me, but Morrissey is still here, in my heart, telling me that Alma does matter in mind, body and soul. Thank you, for what you have given me, a sponge to purify my life, a blanket to shelter me from the cold and an anthem and voice from which to hold my head and eyes up high into the faces of world and its audiences, with the full intentions of living life to the fullest.