Marr and Morrissey reject new Smiths best of
Johnny Marr has posted us a comment on the disaster that is "The Very Best Of The Smiths", an album which has just come out in the U.K on WEA. Johnny: "The band were not asked for their approval on this record and consequently it is a disgrace. It has the worst cover I've ever seen and has been re-mastered poorly. I believe Morrissey is less than pleased about this album but I can only speak for myself when I say that it should be ignored by fans."

• Related item: "The Very Best Of The Smiths" - remastered tracks, Morrissey's response - May 25, 2001

Reel Around the Fountain Pen

Named for a Smiths lyric and opening in the strains of a Belle and Sebastian live-twee-or-die anthem ("Get Me Away From Here, I'm Dying," actually), Shyness Is Nice (Wesbeth Theatre) attempts an affectionate skewering of indie-fanboy paralysis - it's even thoughtful enough to get its central pair of fey, depressive manchildren laid. In fact, the play has also been adapted as a porn film with the straightforward working title Platypussy, though Marc Spitz's stage version bashfully conceals all bumping of uglies behind a bed-and-dresser set) festooned with a vintage poster of "Physical"-era Olivia Newton-John. Stew (Zeke Farrow) and Rodney (Andersen Gabrych) are 30-year-old virgins - all hunched shoulders, trapped-rabbit glances, and cardigan sweaters - prone to pondering whether "fucking is better than the Joy Division box set." (Spin contributiong writer Spitz also wrote the Ian Curtis paean I Wanna Be Adored.) Their junk-addled friend Fitzgerald (director Jonathan Lisecki) contrives to relieve them of their chastity with a visit from Kylie (Camille Shandor), a motherly prostitute with a vagrant Australian accent. She's represented by irascible pimp Blixa (Sibyl Kempson), who's driven to murderous rage when she catches on that double dealer Fitzgerald has gven her "baby formula in exchange for my finest bitch."

With bodies waylaid by lust or bullets piling in Stew' room (or is it Rodney's? Do they share a bed as well as a record collection? Why has Fitzgerald brought them a girl?), Shyness Is Nice ends up as High Fidelity with a casualty list. A few of the physical bits stick (notable Rodney's squeamish attempts to familiarize himself with Kylie's nether regions), but Shyness Is Nice struggles to maintain it's histrionic pitch over 7-minutes, and its escalating, arbitrary chaos is more slipshod than genuinely dreanged. It's almost beside the point who's left standing at the finale - heaven knows they're miserable still. - Jessica Winter