I just posted to the Mael List (Sparks) and the Panic List my encounter with Moz. I just wanted to let you know of my sighting and here’s what I wrote in a delirious state late last night so I thought I’d share it with you.

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Well I drove down to LA from SF to see Sparks (my other favorite band) last night at the Key Club and I had the surprise of my life before the show, when one of my friend’s tells me "Morrissey is here" which I didn’t believe at first but then the tone of his voice and look in his face told me differently. I thought he could be here since he was a Sparks fan back in 1975 and spends a lot of time in LA and likes to go out to shows, but could this be true? Now I’m starting to hyperventilate when another friend, drags me out of my front row spot, next to the stage and said "do you want to meet Moz?" All my Sparks pals, said "go on, we’ll hold your place." Well, you don’t have to tell me twice (plus I was numb now) so downstairs we went to the VIP area. I was supposed to have a wristband for this area, (the record company was kind enough to give the Mael List members who traveled to the show wristbands to this area, basically a bar area downstairs) but I didn’t think I wanted to go down there if I was going to be at the front of the stage anyway with the other rabid fans so I didn’t pick it up. Now here I am racing down there but to my amazement, NO ONE even bothered to stop me as I scurried down the stairs. Maybe because my friend had been down there a lot so they figured we were together or maybe because I looked insane.

Not a lot of people down there (all the fans were upstairs) but there HE was - HIS MOZNESS - sitting basically alone. He was chatting with a British Sparks fan I knew at a table nearby but HE seemed to be alone.

My knees started to shake and I walked toward him, then backed off, then stopped. My friend, pushed me towards him and then left to get her spot upstairs again. I thought THIS is your chance, he’s right there and you better get it together NOW. I walked over near him, said hello to the guy I knew, whereby Moz turns away thinking I’ve come over to talk to this other person but I put out my hand saying "Hello Morrissey" and proceeded to sit down next to him on the long bench seat he’s sitting on. By now, it’s not me, I believe aliens took over from this point on. I was so calm and collected and articulate and started to converse with him like he was an old pal of mine. It just happened, I started talking and amazingly we proceeded to have a nice conversation for the next ten minutes or so (we talked about the several shows I saw last year, Petaluma (oh you were at that one?), San Francisco (he liked the 2nd show better than the first - which was GREAT) and I reminded him that he said "Thank you all for buying two tickets, I know I’m not that popular really." He said, "I was right though, wasn’t I", (well sort of) Salt Lake City (he liked that show a lot and said the club thought it wouldn’t sell at all but he did, he seemed proud of that feat) and I said I liked the Smoking Popes who opened that show. He nodded and asked if I liked the other band as well, Elcka (I did and have their CD) who opened too on that tour. We mentioned a few other cities in no particular order.

Since this was a Sparks show we talked about the stone age of the 70’s and "Kimono My House" which had a profound effect on both of us (well here we were all these years later at a Sparks show for chrissake) and then of course the New York Dolls. I mentioned I saw them in Denver, Colorado and I was totally ruined for life after that since I was quite young (under 18 for sure). I guess he finally figured out what I said "Oh YOU saw them? I thought you knew someone who saw them. (He looks at me again - yes, I’m old Moz) Really? In Denver. Colorado? That’s amazing. Have you heard of Arvada, Colorado (I have). Well I visited there from 78-79-80 with some family I had that lived there I didn’t find anything going on there so I’m surprised they played there. (A few cool bands did make it there I said but that’s why I moved from there to SF years ago) We both laughed at how we don’t visit Colorado much anymore (though my family is still there).

I know we talked about pop music or something like that for a bit longer when Richard Blade rushes in to see if he got in okay and to make sure he was "the real Morrissey" Morrissey said "I’m not the real Morrissey." Moz said something about Ron and Russell (Sparks brothers) putting him on the list etc. etc. Now I’m thinking to myself "here I am sitting next to Morrissey while he and Richard Blade are talking about Ron and Russell this and that, and I’m thinking this is SO WEIRD. Moz and the Mael Brothers! In the same place with ME! Anyway, Richard Blade said he was going to introduce Sparks. Moz asks when that will be 15 minutes. Richard Blade was trying to remember if it was 12 or 14 years since Sparks appeared in the US. The words just flew out of my mouth "oh, it’s been 12." And everyone nods with that. (I’m trying not to crack up at this point.) Moz said he might try to fight his way upfront but Richard offered him a spot at his table upstairs instead.

All the while, Richard Blade would look at Moz, then me, then Moz, then me, probably wondering if was anyone (I wasn’t, I’m just me). I smiled at him and acted as if this was an everyday occurrence for me. It was quite surreal. Then Richard introduces his girlfriend to Moz as a huge fan, they shake hands and they leave. Well, I know I need to leave soon to get back upstairs so I ask him a few more questions and ask if he’s working on any new material" and he says "I don’t know, I don’t know. I’m just hanging out, just hanging out." Of course, he wouldn’t tell me anyway. I get up, shake his hand, tell him my name (I forgot to earlier) and tell him it’s been a pleasure but I must take my place up at the front of the stage whipping my long velvet jacket around as I turn to exit the room, acting as if I owned it or something like that It was so unbelievable. Of course, as soon as I got out of the main area and out of sight of Moz, I found I couldn’t even find the door out and had to ask someone. Then I got upstairs and was running through the crowd, and kept ending up in dead ends, trying to make my way back up front. Finally, I found my way back and then I realized what had just happened and started to laugh and shriek with delight. I couldn’t believe I was so coherent in front of Morrissey and was very aware of little mannerisms as he spoke (touching his lip with his finger, raising his eyebrow, smiling wryly at some silly thing) and me looking at his face and thinking, I can’t believe I’m talking to you.

He looked the same, hair wise, and wore jeans, a white shimmery material type shirt with no buttons under a gray jacket. He wore this watch that looked huge to me and ring on his finger, pinky? I was ready to scream and sing and dance when Sparks came on that’s for sure.

Oh, a few more Moz tidbits. During the signing afterwards, I was talking to Ron and Russ Mael and they do "know" me from their UK shows (I talked to them about Morrissey among many things) and from being in their fan club all these years. I said that they are awesome since they could inspire 'Weird' Al Yankovic (yes he was there but I don’t know if he sat with Moz) and Morrissey to attend their show. With that, Russell Mael (the cute one), says "Oh Morrissey is your Other guy isn’t he" as he looks at his brother Ron (the genius one) since before Moz, there was Ron for me. Ron then says how he really wanted Morrissey to be on their reworkings album "Plagiarism". I asked what song would they want him to do? "Anything. You should tell him about it." I thought do they think I know Morrissey? I think by this time, it was all too much, and I started cracking up laughing and had to leave. Of course, I couldn’t find the door out and walked in circles until I did. I guess I walk in circles whenever I meet one of my idols, I have to work on that.

What a crazy night. I met Mel outside after the show and we started to scream when I told her what happened. Now she’s kicking herself for NOT getting there on time. How funny, I go to those shows last year and never even meet him (it wasn’t easy to do anyway) and then I go to a Sparks show in LA and he’s just sitting there. Thank God I had something to talk to him about. Alzheimer’s hasn’t set in just yet! I need to sleep now, I really haven’t since this all happened. Sparks were FANTASTIC by the way. I don’t know if one person is supposed to be this happy. Shit, I have to be up in four hours. Well, there you go.

Well, I have to go pass out now

Jo In a Coma

return to Morrissey-solo